Chapter 52: So You Like Men
After Wei Yu Ning Qiu joined the guild, the viewers immediately started reporting her latest movements to Chi Zhen during the stream.
[Report! Wei Yu Ning Qiu is still standing in Guangling City's central square! She's still spamming apology messages!]
[Report! Han Jian Ying is online!]
[Report! An Yu is online!]
[Report! Liuli Xin is online!]
[Report! Han Jian Ying and An Yu still haven't replied to Wei Yu Ning Qiu in world chat!]
[An Yu doesn't dare reply. If he does, Liuli Xin will probably throw a fit.]
[Han Jian Ying's probably thinking, What the hell are you pulling this time? I'm not touching this with a ten-foot pole.]
[Han Jian Ying and An Yu are sweating bullets right now.]
With the guild tag [Wei Yu Ning Qiu] [Xiao Cai Guild] above her head, she simply stood motionless in Guangling City, drawing curious looks from everyone passing by.
Chi Zhen asked Wujin Shi whether they should queue for the battlefield now that Wei Yu Ning Qiu had joined.
A new team always needed practice to build coordination.
But Wujin Shi said, "No need. Let her calm down for a couple of days first."
Afterward, he called everyone in the guild channel to do their daily quests and dungeon runs. Everyone online joined the party—except Wei Yu Ning Qiu, who remained completely silent.
Sha Polang called out to her twice, but she never responded.
Wujin Shi said, "She's probably AFK, contemplating life."
["Calm down" was such a savage choice of words.]
[Wujin Shi is so passive-aggressive when he talks.]
[So it's not just me who thinks that.]
[Is it just my imagination, or does Wujin Shi have two completely different modes: talking to everyone else VS talking to Xiao Chi?]
[What are you talking about? Why do you think this stream is called Wujin Chichi Falls in Love Online?]
[Streamer, hurry up and rename the stream. It's way too gay—people might wander in by mistake.]
[Didn't Qingtian Wai say whether Wujin Shi is gay or straight depends entirely on how good-looking the other person is? Wei Yu Ning Qiu's pretty too, but he's nowhere near as polite to her. With Xiao Chi, though... that's a whole different story.]
[Honestly, who could resist a ridiculously handsome guy who's also amazing at games like Xiao Chi?]
[Have you all forgotten how insane Xiao Chi's gameplay was? He practically charmed Wujin Shi on the spot. If you haven't seen it, go check out the "Wujin Chichi" fan forum.]
By this point, Chi Zhen had completely given up trying to explain that there was nothing between him and Wujin Shi. He'd realized that nobody in the Xiao Cai Guild thought these shipping jokes were a big deal—least of all Wujin Shi himself.
Sometimes the things Wujin Shi said sounded perfectly normal at first, but the more you thought about them, the more... suggestive they seemed. Every casual remark from him would send the stream chat into another frenzy. Wujin Shi wasn't particularly talkative, but he had an almost magical ability: whenever he was around, the viewers would start screaming in chat and showering the stream with gifts. Every time the stream ended, when Chi Zhen checked the revenue graphs in the backend, he noticed the income curve always rose dramatically during the periods when Wujin Shi was on voice.
He had to admit it—even as a streamer, Wujin Shi had more natural talent than he did.
The moment Wujin Shi casually said things like, "Thanks, boss," or "Much appreciated, boss," gifts would start pouring in.
After finishing their daily activities, the Xiao Cai Guild remembered the Guild Sanctuary upgrade quest they'd neglected for quite some time. The whole group marched into their Guild's Sanctuary and began taking inventory of the required materials.
Timber, 200 logs — Complete. To collect those two hundred logs, they'd even interrupted Han Jian Ying's confession. Looking back now, who would've thought he and Wei Yu Ning Qiu would end up falling apart anyway?
Stone, 450 pieces — Complete. Everyone had spent days painfully gathering stones from valleys and riverbeds, and they'd finally collected enough.
Clay, 600 lumps — Complete. They'd dug it up while collecting stones, saving themselves quite a bit of effort.
Plant Ash, 100 loads. Rice Slurry, 120 barrels. Those were the only two materials left.
The guild members looked at one another. Where on earth were they supposed to get plant ash and rice slurry?
Qingtian Wai sighed. "I've been playing this game on and off for over a year. Since when did this game even have materials called plant ash and rice slurry?"
Gou-jie replied, "Never heard of them."
Chi Zhen explained, "Rice slurry is made by grinding rice. Plant ash comes from burning the rice stalks left over after harvesting. I've already planted enough rice in the guild fields, and we've gathered all the straw too. What's left is grinding the rice into slurry and burning the straw. Those are the troublesome parts because they have to be done in batches—you can't finish everything at once."
Qingtian Wai sent a thumbs-up emoji in the guild chat. "Our guild leader is seriously dependable."
Burning plant ash was simple. They only needed to find an open area inside the Guild's Sanctuary, pile up bundles of straw, and set them on fire with torches. Once a pile finished burning, it became one load of plant ash.
Not difficult. Burn a hundred piles, and you'd have a hundred loads.
Sha Polang lamented, "The devs are downright evil. They're not burning straw—they're burning my game time cards. They're burning my money!"
Fortunately, multiple people could burn straw at the same time. With twenty players, each person would only need to burn five piles to complete the quest. Unfortunately, the Xiao Cai Guild only had eight active members in total—including Wei Yu Ning Qiu, who was off somewhere contemplating life.
So the dirty work, the hard work, and the exhausting work all fell to the remaining seven of them.
Grinding the rice slurry was even worse.
Because there was only one stone mill in the Guild's Sanctuary. No matter how many people they had, it wouldn't speed things up.
Grinding rice slurry required two people working together: one had to push the stone mill, while the other had to quickly and accurately keep feeding rice and water into it.
Grinding the rice slurry was just as exhausting as doing it in real life.
Qingtian Wai, always one to stir things up, immediately declared, "This rice-grinding job has to go to our Wujin Chichi duo. Time for you two to give the audience what they came for. We won't steal your spotlight."
The honest Qian Yu said, "Guild Leader, I can take turns with you guys."
Gou-jie stopped him. "Be good, Qian Yu. Come burn straw with your jiejie. Don't ask why."
The rest of the guild decisively retreated, leaving the thankless, backbreaking job of grinding rice slurry to Wujin Shi and Chi Zhen.
Knowing how tiring it was, Chi Zhen said, "You push the mill. I'll add the ingredients."
Wujin Shi replied, "It's fine. We'll take turns."
Those two simple sentences alone sent another wave of gifts flooding the stream.
Pushing the stone mill was really just a matter of clicking the mouse repeatedly. With nothing else to do, Wujin Shi once again took over the stream's "customer service."
"Thanks to 'Handsome Xiao Chi' for the Fruit Jar."
"Thanks to 'Xiao Chi Is My Husband' for the Fruit Bomb."
"Thanks to 'Xiao Chi, Date Me Online' for the Fruit Bomb."
……
Chi Zhen's hands trembled, causing several handfuls of rice to spill onto the ground.
[Aww! Baby Xiao Chi is blushing! He's blushing!]
[Xiao Chi didn't even flinch when two guilds were hunting him down, but Wujin Shi saying "Thanks, boss" over and over actually made him nervous!]
Wujin Shi, damn you—you seriously don't get embarrassed at all, do you?]
[Wait, someone named "Wujin Shi Be My Husband" sent a gift too. Why didn't you read that one?]
[Isn't it obvious? That username breaks up Wujin Shi's ship. He refuses to read it.]
On Bilibili Live, viewers could freely change their displayed usernames. As a result, one troll after another renamed themselves with increasingly outrageous IDs, all just to hear Wujin Shi read out a "Thanks, boss" after they sent a Fruit Bomb.
Wujin Shi explained calmly, "This is Xiao Chi's stream. Some usernames steal too much of the spotlight, so I won't read those aloud. Of course, if Xiao Chi wants to read them himself, I have no objections."
The chat exploded.
Chi Zhen had been concentrating on the stone mill and hadn't paid any attention to the usernames of the gift senders. Hearing Wujin Shi say that made him panic a little.
Just what kind of usernames were they?
When he finally looked up at the stream assistant, the chat had already become an endless wall of: ‘666666’; ‘Wujin Shi, you dog of a man!’; ‘Love this! Keep it coming!’; The earlier messages had long since been buried, and he couldn't see any of the strange usernames anymore.
[Guild] Qingtian Wai: Wujin Shi, damn you. You made my hands shake while I was burning straw.
[Guild] Sha Polang: You burned me too!
Not far away, Sha Polang leaped three feet into the air, his face and hair covered in black soot.
Chi Zhen hurriedly explained, "Getting hit by plant ash causes temporary blindness. Just jump into the little river nearby and wash it off."
Sha Polang wailed, "But my entire screen is black! I can't even see where the river is!"
"It's okay. It'll wear off in a little while."
Before Chi Zhen could finish speaking, Sha Polang was already hopping around wildly, charging left and right. He successfully knocked Gou-jie into a burning straw pile, sent Qing Ning tumbling into the river, and then barreled through several more piles himself, scattering them everywhere.
Qian Yu hurriedly grabbed a watering can to put out the flames on Gou-jie.
The scene instantly descended into complete chaos.
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: Heh. You guys running a circus?
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: Wujin Shi, this is what you call doing daily quests?
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: What's the point of wasting time on these trivial errands? You'd be better off running a few more battlefields or clearing dungeons for gear.
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: What a waste of time.
Everyone in the Xiao Cai Guild jumped in surprise. Only then did they realize that Wei Yu Ning Qiu had somehow teleported back to the Guild's Sanctuary.
The beautiful female healer from Orange Spring Valley, dressed in an exquisite set of fashion gear, stood quietly nearby, watching them. Compared to the utter pandemonium on their side, she looked completely out of place.
If Wei Yu Ning Qiu had only been mocking Chi Zhen, he would've let it slide. But she was mocking Wujin Shi. Her attitude practically said, You're the number one player on the entire server, Wujin Shi. Aren't you bored doing little chores like this? Doesn't it cheapen your status?
[Nearby] Qingzhou Yiguo: Guild dailies upgrade the Guild's Sanctuary. It also increases the stamina limit for guild members.
[Nearby] Qingzhou Yiguo: And it unlocks an NPC that sells equipment.
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: Oh? Just low-level gear, right? I'd rather just run dungeons.
[Nearby] Wujin Shi: Newly max-level players don't have enough gear to even meet dungeon entry requirements. How are they supposed to farm equipment?
[Nearby] Wujin Shi: Our Guild Leader Xiao Chi is thinking about the newcomers.
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: Oh? And who's the newcomer?
Completely oblivious to the undercurrents between the three of them, Sha Polang immediately raised his hand enthusiastically.
[Nearby] Sha Polang: Me! Me! Me! Beautiful jiejie, it's me!
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: Leave your party and join mine.
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: I'll carry you through a whole dungeon run.
[Nearby] Sha Polang: What's "carry the whole run" mean? 0.0
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: Didn't you want to become my disciple? Come on. Think of it as a gift from your master.
Sha Polang asked over YY voice chat, "What's this jiejie trying to say?"
Gou-jie sighed dramatically. "Go on, Xiao Po. She's offering to gear you up for free. A master who gives you free equipment is a bargain—you'd be crazy to turn it down!"
Qing Ning added, "Your senior master doesn't object."
Overjoyed, Sha Polang happily followed her. Before leaving, Wei Yu Ning Qiu tossed out two final remarks.
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: I know now why Wujin Shi was so determined to reject me.
[Nearby] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: Turns out you like men.
Qingtian Wai and Gou-jie completely lost it in YY. Their laughter was so loud it nearly made Chi Zhen's ears ring.
Wujin Shi merely chuckled softly. He didn't explain. Not a single word. Not one.
Chi Zhen hurriedly typed.
[Guild] Qingzhou Yiguo: No, you've misunderstood! It's just for the stream! We're playing it up for entertainment!
[Guild] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: Oh? He isn't denying it, but you're denying it for him?
[Guild] Wei Yu Ning Qiu: Entering the dungeon. Don't reply.
[Holy hell, I'm dying of laughter.]
[This lady has eagle eyes.]
[Pretty lady's basically saying: "Your husband isn't denying it, so why are you denying it for him?"]
[Wait, the important question is... has Wei Yu Ning Qiu been lurking in Xiao Chi's stream? Otherwise why would she suddenly conclude that Wujin Shi likes men?]
[That's actually a very reasonable guess.]
[What's with everyone in the Xiao Cai Guild being such trolls? Even Wei Yu Ning Qiu's become one after joining them!]
[Xiao Chi's face is completely red. Wait... Xiao Chi, don't tell me you're homophobic...?]
[No way, that's obviously embarrassment!]
[A streamer who constantly plays up BL fanservice being homophobic? Please. They're just farming content.]
[Doesn't matter. As a chaos gremlin, I'm absolutely loving this.]
Chi Zhen was numb.
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