The night breeze was so cold even the moon had a frosty face. After turning off the lights, and with the absence of moonlight, the room became dark. Qiao Yichen, who had said he was going to sleep, just turned around, blinking in the dark, as he listened to the very, very light sound of fingers touching a phone screen.
Lin Dongyang had just thrown his mobile phone on the bed when he was taking a shower so now more than ten minutes had passed since the message was first sent. He understood his roommates’ virtues and conduct: One is more pitiful than the other, and one is more foolish than the other. If he tried to explain, it would just sound like an excuse to them, and being the JBs that they are, they would inevitably end up making a wild guess anyway.
Therefore, Lin Dongyang just let them say whatever they wanted, and didn’t clarify that he wasn’t actually bent. Seeing the word ‘gay’ in the text sent by Zhu Wenbo, Lin Dongyang remembered the strange things that had happened tonight and looked at Qiao Yichen, who had his back to him. Unable to sleep, he began to chat with Zhu Wenbo with great interest.
[You don’t know that I really met a gay guy today. He was very flirty!] Then, he sent a funny emoji.
Zhu Wenbo, who had been given a cold-shoulder for ten minutes, immediately replied. Probably because he was bored in the dormitory and was playing with his mobile phone.
Zhu Wenbo: [Please tell your story.]
Lin Dongyang: [This story costs money.]
Zhu Wenbo: [Fifty cents in advance, a red envelope later.]
Lin Dongyang’s elbow had been propped up for a long time and was a little sore. He slightly unfurled, like a caterpillar, stretching the quilt out with his legs. He also secretly glanced at Qiao Yichen, who seemed to really be asleep, afraid that his action would wake up the other party. Seeing that Qiao Yichen didn’t react, he readjusted his position and continued to fiddle with his mobile phone.
He recounted in detail his experience of meeting the short man in the small park. Looking at the screen, almost all the messages were sent by Lin Dongyang, with Zhu Wenbo’s shocked emojis interspersed from time to time. He acted as a very serious listener.
Qiao Yichen, who had his back to Lin Dongyang, hadn't fallen asleep at all. He listened to Lin Dongyang playing with his mobile phone for a long time, and couldn’t help but frown, showing a very dissatisfied expression. However, Lin Dongyang was unaware of this, and continued to chat happily on his own.
The quilt rustled a little, and Qiao Yichen turned to look directly at Lin Dongyang. With the faint light of his mobile phone, Lin Dongyang could see Qiao Yichen staring at him without saying a word.
He instantly had a feeling of great déjà vu. This kind of expression was like the look that his mother had when she forced him to learn English and saw him playing with his mobile phone instead of studying. It had a sense of oppression without anger. Lin Dongyang smiled and said, “Did I wake you up?”
Qiao Yichen: “After chatting for so long, you're still not sleeping?”
He had just inadvertently seen the unread message and he didn't understand how the two of them could have so much to say about the topic of being gay or not gay. They had been talking for so long now without stopping.
Lin Dongyang: “I’m really not sleepy, so I’m chatting with my roommate. Here, see.” He handed his mobile phone over, just as Zhu Wenbo sent over a red envelope. The cover of the red envelope read: [The story is great! Here’s a reward!]
Zhu Wenbo just asked him to tell the fifty cent story. When the story ended, he really sent him a red envelope. Lin Dongyang clicked to open it and there was fifty cents inside. He smiled and said, “He really gave it.”
Qiao Yichen’s cold voice came again, and it was evenly matched with this cold night. “I will transfer 5,000 to you, put down the mobile phone and go to sleep.”
Lin Dongyang: “It’s not about the money, it’s about sharing the fun.”
Qiao Yichen: “What fun things could be said about experiencing a scandal.”
Lin Dongyang fell silent and turned off his mobile phone. The only light source was cut off and the room was once again plunged into a darkness that made his heart sad.
For a moment, Lin Dongyang’s voice was somewhat hoarse as he asked, “Do you hate me?”
Qiao Yichen’s heart trembled. His gaze went towards Lin Dongyang’s face, but it was completely obscured by the darkness. He couldn’t see what kind of expression accompanied the sudden hoarse voice.
He couldn’t reply to the question for a long time. His heart was full of mixed feelings. He had just seen Lin Dongyang chatting happily with someone else for so long, but now he was saying these words to him with a heavy tone.
Lin Dongyang didn’t hear his reply and so continued in a muffled voice, “Sometimes, you’re really annoying, and you’re unwilling to say anything. I thought An Qi was your best friend, but you didn’t tell him when something was clearly wrong. Sharing is something that can deepen the bonds of friendship, yet you don’t feel the need to.”
Lin Dongyang was a little sad and unconsciously spat out these words, full of complaints and doubts. On the day Qiao Yichen disappeared, An Qi, who was supposed to be his closest friend, didn’t know the specific situation at all. It was only from Uncle Qiao that he learnt he was sending Austin off at the airport.
As for Lin Dongyang, he regarded himself as a friend and worried because he cared, but the result of seven hours of waiting miserably at the door made people’s hearts freeze and it became clear his worries were worthless.
Lin Dongyang quietly recalled what his state of mind was like at that time.
Qiao Yichen clenched his hands into fists, suppressing the surging complexity in his heart, and said solemnly, “There are just some things that are not suitable to be told to those closest to you.”
“Why? Shouldn't it be, the closer you are, the less secrets you have?” Lin Dongyang sounded very dull, as if he had lost his lively spirit and he didn’t care what explanation Qiao Yichen would give.
“Friends also pay attention to comparability. I don’t like anyone seeing my embarrassing side.”
He was such a stubborn person. An Qi was the only son of his father’s best friend, and he would undoubtedly take over An’s company in the future. Both of them had indeed been friends since childhood, but what An Qi had, he did not.
An Qi’s father’s surname was An and his mother’s surname was Qi. His name represented the meticulous love of his parents. He also had a harmonious relationship with his lover Qiao Weiwei. His life was so wonderful that it made people bitterly jealous.
Qiao Yichen wasn’t spiteful, he was just envious. So envious that he compared himself silently, only to find that he really was lacking. Therefore, he was even more reluctant to expose his broken side, only doing so with an unnecessary attitude.
The so-called comparability was just him not wanting to look like he was missing anything compared to his friends.
He was materially rich, but spiritually, he was poor.
“Then, why did you tell me?” Lin Dongyang asked.
“I think you… you can understand me better.” There was some pain hidden in the halting voice.
Lin Dongyang sighed, he could guess that Qiao Yichen’s family wasn’t harmonious. Although it was said that a loving mother and a strict father were both loving, a father who slapped his son's face to the point of swelling should be very severe.
“The existence of friends should be desired. I want to be the person you can talk to. Happy or unhappy, I can accept it all.”
Lin Dongyang had a very harmonious family. His mother was the most gentle and lovely person in the world, and his father was the most likable hypocritical person; scolding him as a b*stard with his mouth, but refusing to swing the small wooden stick in his hand.
It is precisely because of this that he felt somewhat distressed for the bear child, Qiao Yichen, who wasn’t loved by his father or his mother.
“Don’t mope around by yourself, someone’s worried about you.”
After Lin Dongyang said this, his uncomfortably thick face suddenly became hot. He only said such sentimental words in order to persuade the closed-off Qiao Yichen. Although his reddened face couldn’t be seen in the darkness, he still bashfully pulled the quilt over his head.
Under the quilt, Qiao Yichen clenched his hand into a fist and then released it. He repeated this several times as if he was trying to restrain something. Finally it turned into a dull and solemn sentence, “Okay.”
“Let’s sleep, I’m sleepy,” Lin Dongyang had hid his head under the quilt so his voice was muffled and a little urgent.
“I’ve never hated you.” Qiao Yichen said these words softly, but it still felt as if a thousand pounds had been smashed down.
The next day, at 7am in the morning, Qiao Yichen’s biological clock didn’t allow him to continue to stay in bed.
Meanwhile Lin Dongyang, who had been tormented until two or three o’clock in the morning before his consciousness drifted off to sleep, was still sleeping in a crawling position. Pressed up against the mattress, his face was somewhat deformed and his slightly long bangs were a bit messy. Qiao Yichen stretched out his hand, stroking LD's hair to help him tidy it. This action didn't wake him up though.
Qiao Yichen curved the corner of his mouth slightly and quietly got out of bed. He walked to the french window, closing the gap in the curtains that weren’t tightly pulled, cutting off the ray of light that had burrowed in.
He walked out of the bedroom and closed the door slowly, barely making a sound the whole time. He went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and washed his face, then walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge.
There were only a few eggs and some noodles inside. Remembering the unpleasant history of cooking noodles last time, Qiao Yichen decided to shelve the idea of making breakfast with his own hands.
Although he had hired a housekeeping aunt, he didn’t live here often. So, the fridge wasn’t stocked with ingredients, not even boiled water. He cleaned out the aluminum kettle and prepared to boil some water, but with no kitchen experience, he was flustered. No wonder he had to hire the housekeeping aunt.
Not paying attention, his finger was accidentally cut by a small piece of aluminum that had lifted up. Qiao Yichen frowned and looked at the rough place on the kettle, it was like a mark that had been left after it was bumped. He didn’t know when it had happened. After using it only once he decided to just throw the kettle away and replace it with a new one.
He put his finger under the faucet and squeezed out the blood. He didn’t pay any more attention to the small, insignificant cut after that and continued what he was originally doing with his hands.
After the water boiled, Qiao Yichen opened the bedroom door and saw that Lin Dongyang was still lying in bed like a dead pig. He didn’t wake him up, but took the apartment key and went straight out the front door.
Lin Dongyang rubbed his eyes and propped himself up to look around. His brain was buffering and he didn’t realize where he was for a while. After being stunned for a while he remembered last night’s events. He laid back down again, every part of his body ached. It was almost as if his skeleton had been dismantled. It must be the consequence for not changing his sleeping position all night, now his whole body was stiff.
“Qiao Yichen.” Lin Dongyang shouted, but no one answered. He shouted again but there was still no response, so he got up and, holding his waist, walked into the living room.
Qiao Yichen had walked for seven or eight minutes to get to a nearby breakfast shop, bought steamed buns, eggs, soy milk and fried dough sticks, and then went to the pharmacy to buy a pack of band-aids before going back to the apartment. Altogether it took him around twenty minutes to do everything.
When he opened the front door, he saw Lin Dongyang, who had already gotten up, slowly twisting his waist from left to right in the living room. He really looked like an old person who was doing their early morning exercises.
Qiao Yichen was in a pretty good mood and said, “You’re up.”
Hearing the movement, Lin Dongyang turned his head to look at the door. His twisting action also immediately froze. Facing Qiao Yichen, he couldn’t help but recall last night’s events. He was really embarrassed that he had said such sentimental words.
Lin Dongyang: “You went out to buy breakfast ah.”
Qiao Yichen put the packed breakfast he was holding on the coffee table and said, “En, see if there's anything you want to eat.” He had bought four different kinds of fillings for just the steamed buns alone.
Lin Dongyang: “I’m not fussy. I don’t normally get up this early on my days off, I usually just skip breakfast.”
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