Chapter 61: Give Give’s
[Guild] Sha Polang: Xiao Qian, send me a copy of the strategy guide.
[Guild] Sha Polang: Huh? Xiao Yu, Master, why aren't you in the Little Vegetable Gang group? I'll add you~
The members of the Little Vegetable Gang collectively sucked in a sharp breath and hurriedly picked up their phones.
The next second, Wei Yu Ning Qiu had already been added to the Little Vegetable Gang group chat.
[Sha Polang]: Haha, let's also welcome Master Xiao Yu to the group~
[Qian Yu]: Welcome.
[Wei Yu]: #Smile
[Why do I feel like Sha Polang, Qian Yu, and Wei Yu Ning Qiu are actually one family?]
[Why does Sha Polang call everyone else "bro" or "sis," but call Qian Yu and Wei Yu Ning Qiu Xiao Qian and Xiao Yu???]
[Probably a middle-schooler's intuition.]
[What kind of intuition?]
[The intuition of people whose mental ages are about the same.]
[I can't believe there are still people in this stream trying to whitewash Wei Yu. #Smile]
[Uh, it's just a game. Isn't "whitewashing" a little too harsh?]
[This lady's personality is absolutely awful. Saying she's mentally immature doesn't seem inaccurate either. #Smile]
"Huh? Why are people in the livestream saying bad things about my Master Xiao Yu?" Sha Polang asked innocently.
The members of the Little Vegetable Gang sucked in another collective breath. Sister Gou weakly asked, "Qian Yu... Sha Polang isn't your long-lost younger brother, is he...?"
Qian Yu calmly replied, "What makes you say that?"
Wei Yu Ning Qiu, who had already entered YY, simply said, "Hehe."
[How can anyone not know about Wei Yu Ning Qiu? She's practically a household name across the entire server.]
[Just browse twenty pages of the Quest for the Azure Heavens forums, and you'll know. #Funny]
[Putting everything else aside, I still vividly remember when she put Xiao Chi on her revenge-kill list.]
[But Xiao Chi made her apologize publicly to the entire server, and she already did, didn't she?]
[Changing the subject? She didn't apologize to Xiao Chi.]
Sha Polang's comprehension was astonishingly fast. "Oh, so my Master Xiao Yu had a grudge against Guild Leader Xiao Chi, but the two of them have already made up, right?"
Qingtian Wai: "...If that's how you understand it, then sure, you're not wrong."
Sha Polang comforted Wei Yu Ning Qiu. "Master Xiao Yu, don't lurk in the livestream. Don't read what they're saying."
Wei Yu Ning Qiu replied, "I'm not lurking in the livestream. I'm not that bored."
For the next twenty minutes, the members of the Little Vegetable Gang kept sucking in sharp breaths until their lungs were practically full of cold air—except for Wei Yu Ning Qiu, Sha Polang, and Qian Yu.
Qian Yu even said, "Guild Leader Xiao Chi is obviously just livestreaming himself playing a game, while we're already playing the game with him. There's no need to sit around watching his livestream."
Sister Gou sighed. "You don't understand the joy of reading the viewers' comments, and you don't understand the joy of shipping CPs either."
Qingtian Wai chimed in, "Our Wujin Chi Chi is the GOAT!"
Qian Yu: "Last time, I observed Guild Leader Xiao Chi's livestream for thirty minutes. There were some objective comments, but the vast majority were highly subjective. Some even consisted of completely unreasonable personal attacks. I believe reading those comments is a waste of time."
Chi Zhen: "..."
Sister Gou brushed Qian Yu off. "As long as I'm having fun, it's not a waste of time. Good boy, don't overthink it. This isn't your area of expertise."
Sha Polang said seriously, "Xiao Qian, not to criticize you, but 'You are not a fish, so how could you know the joy of fish?'"
[I suggest forming a three-person Lang-Qian-Yu team, with Sha Polang as the leader. I think he'd be perfect for the position.]
[I don't think Sha Polang is Qian Yu's long-lost younger brother. He's his older brother. #Funny]
[This Qian Yu guy is so adorably clueless. He's clueless enough that it feels like he's acting.]
[Could the personalities of all eight members of the Little Vegetable Gang actually be scripted? Because if so, my entire worldview is going to collapse.]
[What are you talking about? Enough with the "they're acting" nonsense.]
Sha Polang said happily, "Team leader? I'm the team leader in my class too. I have experience with this."
Sister Gou praised him. "You're amazing!"
Chi Zhen: "..."
Chi Zhen had discovered something: whenever all the members of the Little Vegetable Gang logged on together, there was practically nothing for him to do in his own livestream. He couldn't even get a word in.
The Little Vegetable Gang formed their party and immediately flew to the entrance of the Orange Spring Valley dungeon, waiting for Wujin Shi to come online.
Although the Little Vegetable Gang had eight members, three of them were healers. Dungeon parties normally consisted of ten people: two healers, one tank, and seven DPS. The Little Vegetable Gang only had four DPS. Although Wujin Shi had the advantage of a divine weapon, a challenging dungeon like Orange Spring Valley still felt a little understaffed.
After asking everyone for their opinions, Qingtian Wai called for people through his friends list and recruited two DPS players: one Taoist cultivator and one Ghost cultivator.
At eight o'clock, Wujin Shi logged on right on schedule. Everyone entered the dungeon and prepared to begin.
The Ghost cultivator girl was named Lin Fengnuan. She had been very quiet after joining the party. Once they entered the dungeon, they discovered that she was actually from a guild they knew—Disqualified の Summer.
Qingtian Wai seemed to have added the entire guild of Disqualified の Summer to his friends list.
Qingtian Wai was simply too busy. Otherwise, with his outgoing, social-butterfly personality, he'd add friends everywhere he went. For example, he had absolutely no idea how he had even met the Taoist cultivator he'd recruited.
The Taoist cultivator was quite talkative. The moment he entered YY, he started chatting, forming a stark contrast with the quiet Ghost cultivator girl.
"Wow, this party is full of celebrities."
"Group photo, group photo!"
"Three healers in a ten-person party? Isn't that too many? Are you carrying newbies? Even if you're carrying newbies, you don't need two healers for them. Newbies can just stand there and heal. Get another DPS in and crush the dungeon faster."
The Taoist cultivator's ID was "Leng Li." He was dressed in a sparkling-white cash-shop outfit, with white hair to match. He hopped around at the dungeon entrance, occasionally pulling out his weapon—the fly-whisk—and dramatically flicking it around twice as though showing off.
Wei Yu Ning Qiu said coldly, "I can leave."
Sha Polang wailed, "Waaah, Master Xiao Yu! I want to run the dungeon with you~"
Sister Gou explained, “The people in our Little Vegetable Gang like to stick together when running dungeons. We don't like splitting up.”
Leng Li was surprised. “Your entire guild only has eight people?! You're not the Little Vegetable Gang. You're the Mini Vegetable Gang.”
Little Vegetable Gang Leader Chi Zhen: “……”
Wujin Shi ignored all the commotion and immediately began explaining the dungeon. “Orange Spring Valley has three bosses in total. The first boss is relatively simple; just dodge the skills properly. Let's go. We'll clear the mobs along the way. Orange Spring Valley is a fairly large dungeon, with lots of flowers and plants, so it's easy to get lost. Sha Polang, this is your first time here, so stick close.”
Sha Polang: “YES, SIR!”
Then he turned around and said, “Master Xiao Yu! This is your sect's dungeon, so you must know it like the back of your hand, right? Take good care of me and Master Xiao~”
Wei Yu Ning Qiu didn't snap back at Sha Polang. She simply said two words: “Stay close.”
Before she had even finished speaking, Leng Li shot forward and said, “How can we let the healer go in front? I'll handle something this dangerous!”
As its name suggests, Orange Spring Valley's sect map was a quiet, spacious valley. The Medical cultivators lived in seclusion there, growing medicinal herbs and studying medical theory with complete concentration.
The Orange Spring Valley dungeon required players to follow a small path from outside the valley, climbing mountains, crossing rivers, scaling cliffs, walking across single-plank bridges, passing through waterfalls, and overcoming obstacle after obstacle before finally reaching the last boss. The dungeon was notorious throughout Quest for the Azure Heavens for being the most exhausting dungeon on players' legs. Someone had calculated that simply traveling through it took forty minutes.
Forty minutes!
Did you think you were out taking a leisurely walk for exercise?!
Every time players ran this dungeon, they would lovingly send their regards to the game developers.
Now that all ten players had entered the dungeon, they didn't waste any time and immediately set off.
Wujin Shi directed everyone to clear mobs as they went. Leng Li swung his fly-whisk while casting spells at the monsters, talking nonstop at the same time. “I never would've expected Wujin Shi's guild to be this tiny. With only eight people, you can't even form a full ten-man party. Doesn't that cause a lot of trouble?”
“Not really,” Wujin Shi said.
“Hehe. I thought a master like Wujin Shi would've left Way of Heaven for an even stronger guild. Hey, why don't all eight of you join our Taixu Battle Pavilion? What do you say? Our guild has fixed dungeon teams, elite teams, veteran-led newbie teams, with everyone clearly divided by role. That way, you won't waste so much time on a single dungeon. Heh.”
Qingtian Wai turned on his mic. “That won't work. Our guild leader likes growing vegetables. If he joins another guild, he won't have a vegetable garden anymore.”
“Growing vegetables? Your guild leader is... Qingzhou Yiguo? Oh, he's a game streamer.” Leng Li walked up to Chi Zhen and deliberately circled around him once. “I've heard of him. Are you livestreaming right now too? Doesn't that mean everything I'm saying is being broadcast?”
[Guild] Gou Yao Zou Wo Bu Liu: I'm getting dizzy.
[Guild] Qing Ning: Hang in there.
[Guild] Qian Yu: Are you feeling unwell?
[Guild] Gou Yao Zou Wo Bu Liu: He talks so damn much. He's making my head spin.
[Guild] Gou Yao Zou Wo Bu Liu: If his guild has so many dungeon teams, then why does he still have to put together a random party by himself? Hehe.
The road leading to the first boss was the easiest part. It was simply a mountain path through the valley, with nothing particularly strange along the way. The ten players soon reached the first boss.
The first boss of Orange Spring Valley was a vengeful spirit formed from a Demon cultivator who had died full of resentment after a failed medical treatment. He indiscriminately mistook every player for a Medical cultivator, convinced that the Medical cultivators were incompetent and had caused his miserable death, completely ignoring the fact that he himself had been greedy for rapid cultivation, gone berserk, and allowed poison to invade his body.
[Nearby] Wu Meng: “Another bunch of useless quack doctors from Orange Spring Valley! You scattered my cultivation, destroyed my foundation, and caused my death! Today, I shall make you all pay for this blood debt!”
After delivering his obligatory speech, the boss immediately launched his attack.
Wujin Shi commanded, “The main characteristic of this boss is that he's extremely tough and has a huge amount of defense, so he's difficult to damage. He's covered in armor with extremely high protection. We can only exploit his weakness. He died from poisoning, and he developed a psychological trauma after death, so he's extremely afraid of the poisoned status that causes his HP to drop. Once Xiao Chi's Frost Nail comes off cooldown, use it immediately. As soon as the boss enters the poisoned state, unleash your burst damage. The Ghost cultivator's Cold Sand Like Snow also inflicts poison. Follow my commands. When I tell you to use Cold Sand Like Snow, use it.”
Lin Fengnuan typed a 1 in the party channel to indicate that she understood.
Wujin Shi continued explaining. “Wu Meng mainly uses one move called Ground-Shattering Hammer, which deals massive damage. I'll warn everyone before he uses his ultimate, so be ready to dodge. Everyone, pay attention. Alright, go!”
Everyone charged forward and surrounded Wu Meng.
Wu Meng's HP dropped extremely slowly. It was only after Qingzhou Yiguo applied Frost Nail that his health bar began plunging rapidly.
Applying the poisoned status to Wu Meng wasn't easy because he darted around randomly, chasing players and wildly swinging his hammer at them. You had to have extremely quick reflexes to land the attack accurately.
Qingzhou Yiguo basically never missed, and the Ghost cultivator girl was also extremely accurate with her throws.
The main thing everyone had to watch out for was Wu Meng's Ground-Shattering Hammer. Since Sha Polang was a newbie, he wasn't quick enough to dodge and got hit twice. His HP bar dropped to the brink of death, but his two masters quickly healed him back to full.
Nobody said anything about it. Leng Li, however, started talking.
“Hey, hey, Sha Polang, can you dodge or not? Don't try to run away on your two legs. You can't outrun Wu Meng! You need to use your dodge skills like I do—charge forward, leap backward, side-roll!”
Sha Polang obviously knew that, but it was his first time running this dungeon and he wasn't familiar enough with it. By the time he pressed the dodge key, it was already too late.
Leng Li continued nagging. “What you're doing is extremely dangerous. The entire party could wipe because of a newbie like you.”
Wujin Shi calmly said, “It's fine. This dungeon is easy. We'll crush it.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Wujin Shi swung his Kunwu Blade and unleashed a Hundred Ghosts Slaughter. Wu Meng immediately collapsed.
Qingtian Wai turned on his mic. “Beautiful!”
Wujin Shi began giving out praise. “The Ghost cultivator and Xiao Chi did an excellent job maintaining their buffs. Very sharp. Sha Polang performed well too; he dodged three attacks. Qing Ning and Wei Yu's healing was timely. Excellent. The DPS output is brutal. Keep it up.”
Sha Polang chuckled twice.
Qingtian Wai shouted, “Nobody touch it! Let Xiao Chi loot the corpse!”
Unfortunately, it was already too late. Leng Li had already bent down and looted the boss.
“Nothing good. What terrible luck,” Leng Li said.
Everyone came over to look. The boss had dropped several miscellaneous pieces of equipment, but not even a single class-set piece. It really was ridiculously bad luck.
[This is making me wilt.]
[The worst thing when watching a gaming livestream is a player with terrible loot luck.]
[I watch livestreams to feel good. Please, people with bad luck, stay far away. I'm begging you.]
[Xiao Chi hasn't said a word in forever. Whenever he plays with Wujin Shi, he completely forgets he's a streamer. #DogHead]
Qingtian Wai said sincerely, “Brother Leng Li, I suggest you don't touch any of the upcoming boss corpses. Leave them to our guild leader Xiao Chi and his legendary lucky hands. Thank you.”
“Oh? Sure,” Leng Li said.
Everyone continued forward. They had only walked a couple of steps when they suddenly heard Leng Li shouting over YY.
“Wow! So this is what Qingzhou Yiguo looks like! What a handsome guy! Oh my god! I'm going to move into your livestream. Let me throw you a gift. Aren't you going to thank me?”
Chi Zhen froze for a moment and glanced at the comments. Sure enough, someone with the ID “Leng Li · Wuliang Dao Sect” had just sent a Fruit Bomb.
Chi Zhen turned on his mic. “Thank you, Boss Leng Li. Thank you to the ID ‘I Love God Shi’... Thank you, bosses, for the gifts. I was focused on the game just now, so I turned off the comment assistant.”
As he spoke, Leng Li sent another Fruit Bomb and said over YY, “Heh. In your livestream, how many gifts do I need to send before I can add you on WeChat?”
Chi Zhen froze.
The members of the Little Vegetable Gang stopped walking.
The viewers in the livestream flooded the chat with question marks.
[Give, give, give.]
[Wujin Shi, danger!]
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