In the end, He Wuning still didn’t lay a hand on that troublesome system.
He climbed into the car, planning to check what was inside first.
Since City A had become a “Game Fallen Zone,” oil and electricity had become major issues. Cars on the road were now almost unheard of.
If this vehicle really could run without fuel, then even if the system itself was useless, at least it could serve as a makeshift transport. That alone wouldn’t be a bad deal.
That was the best way he could console himself.
As He Wuning examined the interior while getting in, he found that the inside was as gaudy as the exterior, but thankfully, the basic functions of a car were intact. The backspace could serve as a small storage area, or even hold a sleeping bag—much safer than spending nights exposed in the wilderness.
Perhaps fearing that if it didn’t prove its usefulness soon, it would be silenced permanently, Q-chan desperately began hyping up the milk tea car’s perks: “This vehicle can transform, you know! Look here, here—press this window and it turns into an order counter! Isn’t that convenient? Boys can never resist things that transform, right? Like, you know, Transform—bots, or Iron—something heroes, those were super popular on Blue Star!”
Expressionless, He Wuning glanced at it. “I have a question.”
Q-chan: “Meow?”
He Wuning: “Speak human language.”
Q-chan: “Yes, yes, dear, what’s your question?”
He Wuning: “…I don’t have a driver’s license.”
His eyes shifted into the distance. “Even though there aren’t traffic cops here, if I run over those little monsters…”
Q-chan gazed at him with almost motherly fondness. Even though its host was bad-tempered and prickly, he was still a little shy, wasn’t he? Reassured, its tone grew lively again: “No worries! I can enable assisted driving! And if you happen to run into monsters, it’ll knock them back with a forced launch effect and deal some minor damage!”
“Only a tiny bit of damage, though. But against weak monsters like slimes, they probably wouldn’t withstand even that. Oh, and bumping into things will decrease the milk tea car’s durability! Repairs need special skills, so it’s a real hassle!”
That last line made He Wuning pause mid-test drive. He clicked his tongue in irritation.
Q-chan: “…”
It suddenly felt like he’d just had some dangerous idea. Must’ve been its imagination, right? Surely its host was actually a kind and gentle person deep down?
He Wuning lowered his gaze, thinking for a moment before saying: “System, open the communication interface.”
Q-chan immediately responded, “Here we go~ Who do you want to chat with, sweetie?”
He Wuning stared at it in silence for a beat. “Just to confirm—there’s no way to bring back the old mechanical female voice, is there?”
“Hehe, after awakening, all system functions are handled by me—”
Before it could finish, He Wuning frowned. “Silence.”
He pressed it down, then looked off into the distance. From the city—monsters never actively invaded the urban zone, which was why it was called the “Safe Zone”—someone was walking out.
It was a group of teenagers, boys and girls alike, armed with water pipes and baseball bats. The blond-haired one in the lead had a gun at his waist.
He Wuning narrowed his eyes. He had a gun too.
When it had become clear that no one inside could escape the fog, the authorities had posted numerous guides on the Observer Forum: survival manuals, quick combat training, monster weak point compilations, and other strange resources. They had also arranged for stationed troops to distribute weapons to protect civilians—guns included.
Of course, such dangerous things weren’t handed out for free. One had to make a contribution, like publishing detailed monster weaknesses or supplying food.
He Wuning’s own gun was obtained by trading monster intel.
As a free player in the pioneer ranks, he could gather intel faster than others. He had no interest in hoarding it, so he regularly passed the information to intermediaries. Before long, he’d see the strategies posted on the Player Forum, clearly credited with “Intel provided by He Wuning.”
As for how that kid got his gun… He Wuning had no idea.
He Wuning swept his gaze over them. Player levels in the game zone were public, and most of that group of teenagers were still pre-awakening levels in the teens. Only the blond guy and one girl had awakened—the blond’s level was higher, while the girl was only level one, clearly just awakened.
He Wuning found it a little odd, but didn’t dwell on it. In a world where everyone had to fight, it wasn’t strange for even a teenager to become a combat expert.
He just didn’t want anyone to see him—especially not when he was stuck with such an embarrassing milk tea car.
On the other side, those young people had also noticed him. The flashy pink milk tea car was impossible to miss.
A round little chubby boy asked nervously, “Brother Long, there’s someone over there! And that car…”
“See my ass!” The blond, nicknamed “Brother Long,” glared at him. “What did I tell you before we came out?”
The bespectacled girl instinctively recited: “Don’t be curious. If you see something weird, don’t look—just run. Whoever looks is an idiot.”
Brother Long coughed awkwardly. “Ahem. Just remember the first part. Forget the last word.”
The girl with glasses nodded meekly.
They deliberately skirted away from He Wuning’s location and went in the opposite direction.
He Wuning withdrew his gaze and looked at Q-chan, who at least knew when to stay quiet. “Contact the ‘Broker.’”
Q-chan: “Sending call request to ‘Broker,’ please hold.”
By the time He Wuning counted to three, the call had already connected. “Brother He—got new intel again?”
“No.” He Wuning denied instantly.
The one labeled “Broker” wasn’t discouraged. In his usual upbeat tone, he asked, “Ah, then you need something? Running low on food or water? Or do you want some special equipment?”
He Wuning kept his voice steady, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “Neither. I’m looking for someone. Do you know a mechanic?”
The other side was briefly stunned, then actually sounded thrilled. “Of course!”
He Wuning stressed, “Not for a normal car. It’s a game item, you—”
“There is, there is! One of our comrades just awakened a Mechanic ability today, and he was worrying about how to level up his profession. Then you called! You’re a real hero for creating job opportunities for comrades!”
He Wuning: “…”
The man’s mouth was as glib as ever—didn’t need He Wuning to respond, he could keep the chatter going on his own.
“Brother He, you actually got a car in the game? That’s so you! Can I touch it sometime? Ah, wait, is it broken already?”
“Not yet.” He Wuning glanced expressionlessly at the steering wheel. “But it’s about to be.”
“Huh?”
The man clearly didn’t understand, but Q-chan’s expression was already turning horrified.
“I’m at the usual place. Have him come over directly and contact me when he arrives.” After giving instructions, He Wuning ended the call, sat in the driver’s seat, and turned to Q-chan. “Which one’s the accelerator?”
“Normally people ask about the brakes first! Wait—let me fasten my seatbelt!” Q-chan protested loudly. It immediately shot up and clamped its head onto the car’s ceiling like an ugly dangling ornament. Taking a deep breath, it assumed a death-before-dishonor pose. “Okay, you can drive now. Assisted driving mode is activated.”
Expressionless, He Wuning stomped on the accelerator. Q-chan, as if a switch had been flipped, screamed at the top of its voice: “Help—slow down, slow down! There’s a slime ahead, a slime—!”
He Wuning ignored its shrieks and mercilessly plowed straight through. The impact sent the slime flying with a “bang,” then it burst into a streak of light midair and dropped a pile of loot onto the ground.
Q-chan shook violently from its spot on the ceiling, shrieking while dutifully reporting: “Waaah—vehicle durability decreased by 1, total durability 99/100! Yaaah—vehicle durability decreased…”
He Wuning found that hands-on practice really did teach best. He seemed to have a natural talent for driving—within minutes, he already felt he had the hang of it. With a turn of the wheel, his vision shifted—and he ran into that group of kids again. Looked like they hadn’t gone far.
The kids looked utterly dumbfounded, staring wide-eyed as he tore through the area in the car, mowing down slimes left and right.
Q-chan, still reporting while screaming, added accusingly: “I can confirm you’ve just left a deep psychological scar on that group of children!”
He Wuning had no interest in dealing with them. Expressionless, he pulled away, driving the car off into the distance.
The group of half-grown teenagers were stunned. The chubby boy instinctively looked to their leader: “Brother Long, what was that? Didn’t you say that because of the energy shortage, almost nobody uses cars anymore?”
Brother Long really wanted to snap back with, “How the hell should I know what kind of lunatic that was?” But he couldn’t lose face in front of these kids. So he cleared his throat, putting on an air of mystery. “Don’t ask. Must’ve been some big shot. Didn’t you see all those materials lying on the ground? He couldn’t even be bothered to pick them up. Go, collect them.”
“Got it!” The chubby boy trotted off, then hesitated halfway, turning back anxiously.
“But Brother Long, what if he comes back later to get them?”
“Then give them back. A wise man doesn’t suffer losses over what’s in front of him.” Brother Long said shamelessly. “Listen, everything I teach you is a survival principle for this chaotic world. Remember it well.”
“If he wants it, just say we picked it up for him. If he doesn’t, then it’s ours. Now go.”
Half-understanding, the chubby boy hurried over to gather the items. Only when he got closer did he see clearly what they were—everyone knew slimes were the monsters most likely to clog up your inventory, since they dropped all sorts of random junk. You could never guess what bizarre, useless things would come out of them.
But even so, when the chubby boy saw the pile of “pearls,” “coconut jelly,” “boba,” and “tea leaves,” he froze on the spot.
Were these really slime drops? Or did they actually fall off that milk tea car?
Even Brother Long clearly had never seen anything like this. He scratched his messy blond hair in frustration. “Don’t tell me… these are exclusive drops?”
He clicked his tongue. Exclusive drops only appeared when players with special professions killed monsters. For example, tailors would get thread and cloth, apothecaries would get herbs. So for someone to drop an entire pile of milk tea ingredients—paired with that milk tea car they just saw…
Brother Long was almost certain now: that person must have awakened a special profession.
“Troublesome. Special professions need materials, so he’ll probably come back for them.” Brother Long sighed—when suddenly the chubby boy’s expression twisted in terror. “B-b-brother Long! B-behind you!”
Brother Long whipped his head around, the words “Are you f-f-fucking stuttering” still stuck in his throat—just as a massive shadow loomed overhead. A huge boulder came crashing down, instantly engulfing him.
With the teenagers’ panicked screams, the calm grasslands suddenly erupted in clouds of dust.
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The author has something to say:
Mini bonus skit (not canon):
He Wuning: Driving’s actually pretty easy.
Q-chan: Say that again?
He Wuning: Driving’s actually pretty easy. What of it?
Q-chan: …Everything you say is right, darling, mwah~
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