Thirteen Wonders (ShíSānYāo) : Chapter 36 - One Wan Nine Wan
Chapter 36: One Wan Nine Wan
The Spring Festival passed quickly. The festive atmosphere was faint.
In the final six months of their senior year, studies intensified. Due to his hand injury, combined with the school’s considerations and his personal decision, Chen Xuze gave up on interviews. Only Ying Nian, having won an award in a previous competition, was directly admitted to her desired university.
Zhou Yao and Chen Xuze spoke less and less. They often sat together at the stone table to do their homework, and Ying Nian frequently went to find them.
Sometimes, she would go with Jiang Jiashu, and as they approached in the sunlight, they had to raise their hands to shield their eyes, squinting.
Look, they seemed to merge into the light. Occasionally, Ying Nian would have such poetic thoughts, but Jiang Jiashu’s blunt comment always ruined them. “That’s just your eyesight failing.”
A pre-admission exercise was conducted before the exams. Based on questions from previous years, a mock test was created to evaluate each class’s overall performance. After the exam, a simulated application form was distributed for students to fill out.
Although the actual applications would be electronic, this was just a rehearsal to help students mentally prepare for estimating scores and selecting schools.
Zhou Yao brought the form home. Her mother’s cooking was still good—the table was filled with delicious dishes, mostly ones she liked. She wasn’t sure when this habit had started.
When she heard about the form, her mother said, “Apply for teacher’s college as your first choice. You can be a teacher in the future.”
Zhou Yao hesitated for a moment. Her mother picked up her thick book, flipping through it. “Let me take a look for you.” She selected a few options and said, “These are great. Just pick from them. So good.”
Zhou Ma frowned and couldn’t help but say, “Let her decide for herself. She hasn’t said a single word—you're making all the decisions.”
“I’m doing this for her own good,” her mother retorted. The two started arguing again.
Zhou Yao held the book listing universities and their codes, staring at the page her mother had flipped to for a long time. Her mother handed her a pen, saying, “Fill it in. Teacher’s college is a good choice.”
Zhou Yao didn’t move. Zhou Ma interrupted, “Talk about it after dinner. So annoying!”
The discussion was put on hold.
But after dinner, her mother hadn’t forgotten. As Zhou Yao was about to leave, she asked, “Did you fill out your mock application?”
Zhou Yao nodded. “Yes.”
Her mother wiped her hands on her apron. “Let me see.”
Zhou Ma, sipping tea, said, “What’s there to see? Can you let it go already?”
“I can’t even show concern?”
“All you ever do is—”
Zhou Yao took out the folded paper from her pocket as they argued. Her mother saw that the choices were filled in, and the codes matched those of the teacher’s college. Her face instantly brightened with a smile.
She handed it back. “Alright, I won’t bother you anymore. Hurry to school.”
Zhou Yao hummed in acknowledgment and stepped outside. She heard Zhou Ma remind her, “Come back early with Shisan tonight. Be careful.”
She turned back and nodded.
Ever since the incident, Chen Xuze had bought a student electric scooter. Every day after school, he took Zhou Yao home with him, no matter the weather. Against the cold or warm wind, Zhou Yao’s hands were tucked into his pockets, arms wrapped around him in a half-embrace.
When she stepped out of her house, she met up with Chen Xuze in the alley as planned.
They walked together toward the street. In broad daylight, with his scooter parked outside the alley, they walked side by side. As they reached the trash bin at the alley’s entrance, Zhou Yao suddenly stopped.
“What’s wrong?”
She shook her head.
Taking out a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket, she tossed it into the trash.
“What was that?”
“Something useless.”
Zhou Yao turned to him. “Where do you plan to apply?”
“Capital University.”
“Me too.”
Both would be in the capital. Since childhood, he had loved tinkering with strange and curious things. Despite all his projects, what he cherished most was still that crude, early drone—one that could take him into the sky, high above the ground.
Chen Xuze asked, “You? The same as before?”
“Yeah.” Zhou Yao buried her hands in her pockets, speaking lightly. “Medicine.”
……
Time galloped past like a white horse. After months of being in the spotlight, No. 7 High School finally had its moment of pride.
Ying Nian, who had long dominated the top of the red honor roll, was admitted early to the country’s most prestigious university. Meanwhile, the second and third spots on the list belonged to this year’s two highest-scoring science students in the city—Zhou Yao and Chen Xuze.
A large red banner hung at the school’s entrance, the bold characters visible from afar. This year’s university acceptance rate delighted the school administration. The previous scandals and incidents that had cast a shadow over the school finally seemed to fade under the glow of these outstanding results.
After the exams, summer vacation arrived early. Zhou Yao and Chen Xuze became the talk of the alley, envied and praised by everyone. Whenever parents spoke about their children, they inevitably brought up the two of them.
“Look at Brother Xuze…”
“Can’t you learn from Sister Yaoyao?”
“......”
They had long been the ‘model children’ others spoke of, but now, they truly lived up to the title.
With scores in hand, students officially selected their universities. By the end of June, Zhou Yao had finalized her choices. That evening at dinner, her mother was talkative, clearly in good spirits. Everywhere she went, neighbors congratulated her. Even Zhou Ma, usually reserved, was visibly pleased.
Whose parents wouldn’t be proud of a successful daughter?
As her mother spoke about Zhou Yao’s future—how she could become a teacher, perhaps stay at the university, climb the ranks, maybe even become a lecturer or professor.
Zhou Yao suddenly set down her chopsticks.
Her mother and Zhou Ma looked at her in confusion.
“What’s wrong? Is the food bad?”
Zhou Ma asked, but Zhou Yao didn’t answer. She fixed her gaze ahead and said, “I didn’t apply for teacher’s college. I want to study medicine. I applied to a medical university.”
The table fell silent for a second.
Her mother’s hand trembled slightly as she held her chopsticks. She frowned and met Zhou Yao’s eyes. “What… what do you mean? Why didn’t you listen to me? Why—”
“I want to do what I love. I want to do what I want to do.”
“You’re saying I forced you into something you didn’t want? Is that what you mean?!” Her mother suddenly stood up, slamming her chopsticks onto the table. One flew off, landing on the floor.
Zhou Ma pulled her sleeve, but she forcefully shook it off. Glaring at Zhou Yao, she snapped, “You better explain yourself today! Are you getting bold now? Are you trying to pick a fight with me again?”
“I’m not trying to fight with you. I’m just telling you—I don’t want to be a teacher.” Zhou Yao met her gaze calmly. “That’s not my dream, so I won’t apply for it, and I haven’t.”
Mother Zhou took a deep breath, her eyes turning red as she exhaled. “Do you think I’m trying to ruin your life? Do you think my words mean nothing? Whatever I say, you just have to go against me! What’s wrong with being a teacher? You’d have a stable job, a secure future! Why—”
“Being a teacher is great, but I don’t like it.” Zhou Yao repeated in an even tone. “Mom, do you understand? I don’t like it.”
Mother Zhou was silent for a long time before letting out a cold laugh. “Fine, fine. You’ve grown up, you’ve got skills now. I can’t force you to do what you don’t like anymore. I have no control over you now, right? You’re so capable, so amazing. You must think I’m just some useless old woman, don’t you?”
Her eyes filled with tears as she choked out, “Then why do you even call me Mom? Since you’re so capable, go find a better mother! Someone like me, someone lowly, doesn’t deserve you! You’re so great! My words mean nothing to you—”
“Enough!” Zhou Ma scolded her. “You’re going too far!”
Zhou Yao lowered her head slightly and suddenly chuckled. When she looked up again, there was a touch of mockery and sadness in her eyes.
“Is it that I look down on you, or that you look down on me?”
“You want me to be a teacher—don’t you know why? Don’t we both know?”
Mother Zhou froze.
“Before your son died, he was just a child. He loved organizing the kids in the alley and playing teacher with them. He used to joke about becoming a teacher when he grew up. After all these years, you still remember that.” Zhou Yao’s eyes were red as she smiled. “And now, you’re trying to force it onto me.”
“You—”
“What about me?” Zhou Yao’s eyes brimmed with tears as she looked at her. “Did I say something wrong?” She pointed at the incense burner on the cabinet and the faded black-and-white photo of a child behind it. “In your heart, there was only ever that one child. What am I to you?”
“My feelings don’t matter. What I want doesn’t matter. You probably don’t even know what kind of person I am. All you ever wanted was for me to be obedient, to listen, to be sensible. Anything else?”
“If I don’t clean the incense burner properly, I get scolded. I love sweets, but you’d rather place several rice cakes in front of the incense burner than give me even one.”
“I will always be just the little daughter of the Zhou family.”
Mother Zhou trembled all over—whether from her words or something else, she wasn’t sure. Shaking, she tried to seize control, “Put your hand down! Don’t point at your brother like that! I forbid it—”
“I won’t!” Zhou Yao shot up from her seat, pointing at the photograph, her hand shaking. Her voice cracked into hysteria, collapsing under years of repression. “How many years did he spend with you? And yet, every little thing he liked, every joke he made—you remember it all. But me? I’ve been with you for over a decade—do you even know what I think? I want to study medicine! If I hadn’t told you myself, would you have known? Have you ever asked? Not a single word! And yet you want to force his dreams onto me! Have you ever considered my feelings?!”
“Am I your daughter, or just a substitute for the child you lost?”
“Enough! Stop it, both of you—”
Zhou Ma tried to break up the chaos, but it was too late. Mother Zhou swept her hand across the table in a fit of rage, sending dishes and plates crashing to the ground. Porcelain shattered into shards across the floor.
“Say that again? Say that again—!”
“You never saw me as your daughter. The only one you ever loved was your son. I am Zhou Yao. I am just a replacement—dispensable.” Zhou Yao’s tear-streaked face was eerily calm. “But this time, I won’t compromise. I won’t become a teacher. I will do what I want, and no one can stop me.”
“Fine! Fine! Go, then! Leave—” Mother Zhou shouted, her voice hoarse. “From now on, don’t wear a single piece of clothing from the Zhou family, and don’t eat another bite of Zhou family food! Get out! I’ll pretend I never gave birth to you!”
Zhou Yao, tears still on her face, smiled, as if to provoke her further. “You never really treated me as your daughter in the first place.” Wiping her tears, she continued, “Everything I have now is what I rightfully earned. For eighteen years, I was obedient, sensible, and well-behaved. That should be enough to repay you. From now on, I won’t take anything from you again.”
Zhou Yao walked toward her room. Zhou Ma tried to stop her, but caught nothing but air.
“Let her go!”
Mother Zhou’s voice was shrill, almost distorted by her sobs. Her face was drenched in tears, her eyes so red they seemed to bleed.
It was summer. The clothes were thin. Zhou Yao only packed some inner layers and casual wear into her backpack. She took her identification documents, her household registration booklet—hers alone—and stepped out of her room.
The living room was a mess.
“Yaoyao, what are you doing? Mom was just arguing with you, she said some things in anger—why are you taking it so seriously—”
Zhou Ma tried to hold onto her, but Zhou Yao shook him off. She bent slightly and said, “Dad, I’m leaving now. I’ll come visit you sometime.”
“Don’t bother! Get as far away as you can—”
Mother Zhou shouted through her tears, the bitterness of them sinking into her mouth, but only she could taste it.
Zhou Yao looked at her deeply, then bent at the waist and gave a bow. Without saying another word, she turned and walked into the night. Zhou Ma knew exactly where she was going—straight to Chen Xuze. That wasn’t far, just within the same alley.
What mattered was bringing this mother and daughter back together—that was the real problem.
Just as he was about to speak, he turned and saw Mother Zhou collapse onto the floor, covering her face as she sobbed uncontrollably.
Zhou Ma was about to tell her she had gone too far, but before she could, the woman slammed her hand against her chest, gasping for breath.
“I didn’t know what you wanted to apply for. I didn’t know you wanted to study medicine. I never asked. But did you ever tell me?”
She cried into the empty, wrecked living room.
“I knew you liked sweets. But your brother only had a few short years to live. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you. He only got to taste so much—I just wanted to let him have a little more, to make up for what he missed. Was I wrong?”
Zhou Ma stood there, eyes turning red. The door was half-closed, but outside, there was no one left.
She knelt on the ground, sobbing so hard her entire body shook.
“I didn’t pay you enough attention. I admit it. I wanted to make up for it. But did you ever give me a chance? You say I never noticed you—but did you ever notice me?”
“When did we switch from round-grain rice to fragrant rice—do you know? Half the dishes on the table every day are your favorites—did you ever notice?”
“Who sewed up the frayed hem of your uniform overnight? Who fixed your broken backpack zipper with their teeth? Did you ever think about that?”
“You were waiting for me to say sorry…”
She collapsed completely.
“I’m saying it now. Are you listening…”
Zhou Ma turned away, wiping his eyes.
As children, we think adults are heroes, that their broad shoulders can bear anything. But as we grow up, we realize—those strong figures, those reliable shoulders, they too can bend, can slump.
Rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, and tea—the burdens of life, they bear them all.
Ordinary yet not ordinary, simple yet great.
They are used to authority, used to having the final say, prideful, unable to lower their dignity.
Just like mother Zhou, perhaps a reflection of many ordinary parents.
But they, too, will come to realize their mistakes, they, too, will have a day when they understand.
The words they cannot say—
Are stitched into every thread, cooked into every meal.
So simple, so ordinary, yet carrying a weight as heavy as a thousand catties—
“I’m sorry.”
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