Chapter 50: It Really Feels Like I've Been Fucked Over by a Dog
Excuse me?
Qiao Nan thought to himself, Did I somehow walk into a completely different novel? Can some kind soul explain the plot to me?
Did I enter the wrong classroom?
He looked up at the ceiling. The stain was still there from the time Yan Zhiyang had secretly shaken a bottle of cola too hard during class and sprayed it onto the ceiling. He looked at the desks and chairs. They were still missing arms and legs from all the abuse inflicted by the little hyenas of Class Nine, no different from when he had left.
Then he looked at the people in front of him. The girl wasn't very familiar. But Yan Zhiyang was undeniably still wearing the same stupid dog face that made Qiao Nan want to punch him on sight.
So— What exactly was going on?
After a long silence, Yan Zhiyang, still holding his workbook, blinked and exchanged a glance with the girl waiting for an explanation. Confusion spread across both their faces.
What was wrong with Brother Nan today? Not only had he failed to immediately enter teaching mode, he had actually suggested going out to play basketball, drink, and game at an internet café.
Good heavens. How long had it been since any of them had even touched a mouse in an internet café? Ever since returning to school from suspension, they had spent every day swimming together in the ocean of knowledge.
And the person who had led them into that ocean… Was the handsome young man sitting before them.
Thinking of this, Yan Zhiyang felt nothing but admiration. After all, he had practically been inseparable from Brother Nan ever since the latter transferred to this school. He had personally witnessed the glorious rise of an unknown transfer student into No. 12 High School's undisputed king of school tyrants.
It had not been an easy road. No. 12 School High attracted far too many troublesome students from various middle schools. Take Yan Zhiyang himself. Before entering high school, he had been the unquestioned boss of his middle school. When a bunch of bosses gathered on the same mountain, none willing to submit to another, the result was exactly what No. 12 High School had become: a chaotic mix of competing factions. Bandages sold faster at the local pharmacy than in ordinary neighborhoods. As for the alley near the sports school, during peak hours people practically had to reserve time slots in advance just to hold group fights there.
Only Brother Nan's arrival had finally brought order to the market.
So what quality earned the respect of juvenile delinquents? Academic performance? Bullshit.
The only real truth was having stronger fists.
That alone should tell you everything about Brother Nan's style.
Thus, as one of the most famous underachievers in both the entire sophomore year and Class Nine itself, Yan Zhiyang had always assumed Brother Nan was one of their fellow academic failures.
But after turning over a new leaf, he finally realized what it meant that there was always someone better.
Comparisons really could kill. They had all slept through classes. Skipped school. Arrived late. Got into fights. Handed in blank exam papers. Yet when they eventually regretted their ways and picked up their textbooks again, Brother Nan was completely different from them. While they stared blankly at first-year material as though it were written in an alien language, Brother Nan—despite never seeming to attend class either—had transformed from academic failure to academic genius in a single effortless leap.
What could they even say? The gap in intelligence was so absurdly large that jealousy wasn't even possible.
And after returning to school, the usually cold-tempered and violent Brother Nan had shown such concern for their studies. When explaining difficult questions, he was patient and meticulous. Gentle, even. Almost like a completely different person.
At that thought, Yan Zhiyang suddenly stiffened. Could Brother Nan's earlier invitation have been a test? Had he discovered something?
Meanwhile, Qiao Nan was still completely bewildered when he saw his little brother set down the workbook and shakily pull a phone from his pocket. “B-Brother Nan...” Yan Zhiyang stammered. “I really... really only logged into the game because I couldn't sleep after finishing my homework last night...”
Qiao Nan stared at him. “???”
Why the hell would I care if you play games? I play games too.
Then he watched as Yan Zhiyang unlocked the phone and tremblingly tapped a familiar icon—the exact same game Qiao Nan himself had played while waiting for Mu Xiangxiang earlier that morning. The icon began to shake. With the determination of a man facing death, Yan Zhiyang pressed the little X in the corner. Deleting it.
Qiao Nan: “..................”
As a former game-addicted delinquent himself, Qiao Nan suddenly felt a completely unearned sense of guilt. Just as he was about to ask what the hell he was doing, the morning bell rang outside. A moment later came the sharp click-clack of high heels. Turning his head, Qiao Nan saw a familiar face. Their English teacher. A woman whose expression had always been filled with disgust and impatience whenever she looked at Class Nine.
An old acquaintance. Since first year, she had constantly clashed with the class. Qiao Nan could barely remember ever seeing her smile. Her disdain for Class Nine had always been obvious. Teaching her lessons seemed little more than a routine obligation. As a result, English class usually went like this: The teacher stood at the podium lecturing to herself. The students sat at their desks doing whatever they wanted. Neither side interacted with the other. Then the bell rang. Everyone went their separate ways.
But today— The middle-aged woman who had always seemed perpetually afflicted with menopause syndrome was smiling. Actually smiling. She strode into the classroom with light steps, set her teaching materials on the podium, leaned against the desk, and enthusiastically shouted: “Good morning everyone!”
Qiao Nan had argued with her more than once over her sharp tongue. Seeing her looking as though she'd been injected with stimulants, he was utterly baffled. He was just about to ask Yan Zhiyang whether the woman everyone called "Old Nun Exterminator" had recently won the lottery when— The entire class roared in unison: “GOOD MORNING MISS PAN!!!”
The loudest voice belonged to the very person who had coined the nickname "Old Nun Exterminator."
Qiao Nan: “..................”
The same little hyena who had once stood nose-to-nose with her screaming insults. His voice practically cracked from enthusiasm.
Qiao Nan's gaze moved back and forth between the smiling teacher at the podium and the respectful students below. Then the entire class launched into some kind of cult-like group English recitation. Qiao Nan slowly turned his head toward the window. Mad. They were all completely mad.
He had to leave. This was no longer the paradise where he could do whatever he wanted.
The sudden sight of the person who had initiated all the recent studying activities abruptly standing up and packing his things immediately attracted the English teacher's attention. She looked at his handsome but unusually pale face in confusion. Just as she opened her mouth to ask what was wrong—A cheerful male voice sounded from the doorway. “Teacher Pan, let's pause the morning reading session for a moment.”
Qiao Nan turned toward the voice. Standing at the door was a skinny, dark, dried-up little old man. He looked familiar. Qiao Nan thought for a moment. Right. They had met in Guo Zhi's hospital room.
Mu Xiangxiang had called him the principal.
What was he doing here? And why was he followed by a group of teachers?
To the principal's left stood a balding biology teacher. The biology teacher Qiao Nan hated most among all of Class Nine's instructors.
At this moment, both the principal and the bald biology teacher were wearing suspiciously delighted smiles.
Then— Under Qiao Nan's unblinking stare— They walked straight toward him.
Qiao Nan: “???”
The principal laughed heartily while applauding. “Student Qiao Nan! The results of your application for the Provincial High School Biology Competition have arrived. Congratulations! You've been selected for the preliminary round!”
Qiao Nan: “...”
He stared at the old man's face in disbelief. Are you fucking kidding me?
What the hell is a Provincial High School Biology Competition?
Could you please speak human language instead of telling ghost stories first thing in the morning?
Principal Sun failed to notice anything wrong. Still applauding, he turned toward the class. “This year's biology competition was extremely competitive. At No. 12 High School, only three students earned spots in the preliminary round. Aside from Qiao Nan, the other two are both from Class One, Second Year. Let's give Student Qiao Nan a round of applause!”
The students immediately began clapping, impressed despite having no idea what was going on.
Qiao Nan, meanwhile, felt as though he were being publicly executed. “...”
Then realization struck. Mu Xiangxiang! It had to be her! There was absolutely no other possibility!
Before he could recover, the skinny principal and the bald biology teacher had already moved closer. “As an ordinary high school, every student who manages to stand out in such fierce competition is precious to No. 12 High School,” the principal said warmly. “Student Qiao Nan, the school has very high hopes for you. After hearing this wonderful news, your homeroom teacher, Teacher Wu, immediately prepared a batch of biology review papers covering the entire high school curriculum. We hope they'll help you in the upcoming competition.”
The bald biology teacher stepped forward smiling, carrying an enormous stack of exam papers. Qiao Nan stared at him with near-terror.
Get lost!!! Take your weird garbage and get lost!!!
Don't come any closer!!!
Studying is impossible! Competing is impossible! I'm not Mu Xiangxiang right now! Why should I participate in any of this nonsense?!
He instinctively took a step backward. His chair blocked him. After steadying himself, he forced his emotions under control.
A storm of thoughts raged through his mind. Within seconds, he analyzed the situation and came up with an escape plan. His expression cooled. Just as he was about to speak—
The English teacher suddenly leaned over, looking astonished. “A competition?” She moved closer to the biology teacher. “Student Qiao Nan actually volunteered to participate in a competition?”
Although he'd been much more attentive in class lately, the English teacher still felt that a student who, in her memory, had handed in blank papers for every exam simply didn't belong in the same sentence as academic competitions.
Qiao Nan sneered inwardly. Exactly. A hopeless underachiever like me, who gets a headache just looking at exam questions, has absolutely zero interest in this crap.
The biology teacher, whom he'd always disliked and who disliked him right back, immediately shot the English teacher an offended look. “What kind of question is that? Student Qiao Nan is incredibly promising! There were only twenty preliminary-round nomination spots for the entire school. Principal Sun originally intended to choose directly from Classes One and Two. It was Qiao Nan himself who stepped forward and asked to compete for a place! Isn't that right, Teacher Mo?”
Teacher Mo, standing on the principal's other side, looked at Qiao Nan with a face full of pride and nodded. “That's right! He's brought great honor to our class!”
Qiao Nan stared at the man's proud smile. “...”
No...
He opened his mouth, eyes vacant. He wanted to explain. But he didn't even know where to begin. Before he could speak, the English teacher had already recovered from her surprise and commented approvingly: “Amazing. A student from a regular class actually beat students from the advanced classes. That's impressive.”
Qiao Nan: “...”
It wasn't me... I didn't...
Unfortunately, nobody could hear the cries of his soul. The English teacher leaned over to examine the stack of papers the biology teacher had placed on the desk. After reading a few questions, she froze. “Wow. These are really difficult. A lot of this material isn't even part of the second-year curriculum, is it?”
Qiao Nan glanced over. His vision immediately swam.
“Of course not,” said the principal proudly. “This is the Provincial High School Biology Competition. More than two thousand high schools across the province participate, including top students from over a hundred elite schools! And these papers only represent the approximate difficulty of the preliminary and elimination rounds based on previous competitions. After the elimination round, there are still semifinals and finals. Compared to those, this is nothing!”
The English teacher listened in astonishment. “Wouldn't that be a little too difficult for Qiao Nan?”
Qiao Nan nodded furiously inside. One glance at the paper had told him everything. From the first question to the last, he couldn't understand a single complete sentence longer than ten words.
The biology teacher burst out laughing. “Teacher Pan, you're seriously underestimating him. This level of difficulty is nothing to Qiao Nan!”
Qiao Nan: “??????”
Teacher Mo chimed in as well. “It's understandable she'd think that. Even I was shocked when I found out. During the school's preliminary selection exam, he scored the highest among more than a hundred applicants. He even beat Lin Fei, last semester's top student in Class Two. He was practically at a perfect score!”
The English teacher's face filled with amazement. The surrounding students immediately turned toward Qiao Nan with reverent expressions.
Surrounded by admiration— Qiao Nan sat there in silence.
The biology teacher sighed emotionally. “I used to think he had a bad attitude and hated studying. Learning about this really changed my opinion of him!”
Then he shoved the stack of papers enthusiastically toward Qiao Nan. “Student Qiao Nan! Let me wish you victory from the very beginning! From now on, whenever you encounter any difficulties while preparing for the competition, contact me anytime. I'll do everything in my power to help you!”
Listening to his longtime enemy's passionate speech, Qiao Nan's entire body had gone rigid.
He took a deep breath. His lips trembled. Just then, a timid voice sounded beside him. “Teacher Mo... since you're here, there's a question I'd like to ask...”
The girl who had approached him earlier stepped forward. Teacher Mo turned around and accepted the workbook she handed over. After looking at the problem, he immediately smiled. “Oh, this question! I remember it. Teacher Mo even included it on the selection exam that Qiao Nan took.”
“Huh?” The girl looked surprised. “When I asked him earlier, he didn't answer. I thought he didn't know how either.”
Teacher Mo waved dismissively. “How could that be? It's a little beyond the syllabus, but a question at this level is child's play for him.”
The girl immediately looked toward Qiao Nan with hopeful eyes. Qiao Nan lowered his head to look at the problem. “...”
At that moment, Yan Zhiyang leaned over too. “Whoa, what kind of weird question is this? I can't understand a single word.” He looked genuinely interested. “Brother Nan, Brother Nan, explain it to us! After hers, I've got a few questions too!”
Qiao Nan turned toward the workbook he was holding. He looked at those questions too. “...”
Three seconds later—SLAM! He smashed his hand onto the desk. “Get lost! Explain my ass!”
Then he shoved through the crowd and stormed toward the classroom door. He moved so fast that none of the teachers present even remembered they were in class and were supposed to stop him.
Several moments later, the biology teacher slowly turned back toward the students, meeting a collection of equally bewildered faces. “...”
What had just happened?
After pondering it for a moment, he arrived at what he believed was the correct answer. He slapped the desk. “Exactly! Look at Qiao Nan, then look at yourselves! You can't even solve questions this simple and still come asking him for help? Obviously you haven't been paying attention in class! Is that any way to behave?”
The entire class of underachievers lowered their heads under his scolding. Yan Zhiyang thought about how he'd still found time to play games before bed last night despite not being able to solve his homework. His shame deepened.
Compared to Brother Nan, who seemed capable of anything and knew everything, bringing such idiotic questions to him for guidance really had embarrassed his big brother.
****
As soon as Mu Xiangxiang finished her exam and got her phone back, she immediately called Qiao Nan. The background on the other end was unusually quiet. She frowned slightly. “Are you at school right now?”
Qiao Nan sounded as though he was suppressing something. “Where else would I be?”
Mu Xiangxiang thought about it. True. At this hour, where else could he be? So she quickly got to the point. “Um, Qiao Nan. Before we switched back... I signed up for a provincial biology competition because of the prize money. There was so much going on afterward that I completely forgot to tell you.”
Qiao Nan: “...”
His expression twisted. I knew it was you!
Mu Xiangxiang sounded apologetic. “Sorry for causing trouble. I just didn't think we'd switch back so quickly. I figured I probably passed the preliminary round. Did any teachers come talk to you about it this morning?”
Qiao Nan took a deep breath. “You tell me.”
“...” The answer was obvious from his tone. “Uh... well, if you don't want to participate—”
“I! ABSOLUTELY! DO! NOT! WANT! TO! PARTICIPATE!” Qiao Nan suddenly shouted. “Let me make this clear. I am absolutely not participating in this stupid competition! Absolutely not! Give up on that idea!”
Mu Xiangxiang immediately relaxed. “You misunderstood. I wasn't asking you to participate. I just wanted to tell you about it. Competitions aren't mandatory. The next round is still more than a month away. If you don't want to join, just explain it to the teachers.”
After hanging up, she remembered how decisive his tone had been. She relaxed even further. That was more like it. With Qiao Nan's personality, nobody at No. 12 High School could force him to do something he didn't want to do.
If he was still calmly attending school, then the issue had obviously already been resolved.
Thank goodness. At least she hadn't accidentally caused any trouble for his body.
Qiao Nan glared at the dark phone screen after the call ended. Several moments later, he looked up and sat staring blankly at the bathroom ceiling.
When Mu Xiangxiang had asked if he was at school, he had answered yes. And he wasn't lying. He was indeed at school. Just not in class. He was currently hiding in a bathroom stall.
But! Just as he had declared moments ago— There was absolutely no way he was participating in that biology competition! No matter who it was, they could all give up!
Did they think a few compliments from teachers and some sugar-coated praise would make him surrender? Impossible! He no longer had to live Mu Xiangxiang's life or shoulder her responsibilities. Studying? Absolutely impossible.
Absolutely impossible!!!
Suddenly, he kicked the stall door. A dull bang echoed through the bathroom. As the sound reverberated around him, he grabbed his hair in frustration, lowered his head, and unleashed a long stream of curses.
Then he reopened his phone. Still maintaining the same posture, he stared blankly at the screen full of app icons.
His thumb hovered in midair for several seconds. Finally, it descended. An orange icon lit up. Taobao.
“Fuck!”
He opened the search page. His fingers moved rapidly. Then, very slowly, he typed: "Province X High School Biology Competition Review Materials."
At the same time, he desperately tried to remember what had been written in the workbook questions that Yan Zhiyang and that girl had shown him earlier.
Forget it. Might as well search Baidu too.
Damn it.
It really felt like he'd been completely screwed over by fate.
------------------
Author's Note:
Qiao Nan: Studying is impossible. There's no way I'm studying in this lifetime!
(Five minutes later, searching for biology competition prep books online...)
----------
If you like my translation, please support me by buying me a coffee:
No comments:
Post a Comment